Sound Card Sacriface
Return to main thumbnail page
Home

Pic00001.jpg
Pic00001.jpg

The sacred offering bowl with the broken sound card.
Pic00002.jpg
Pic00002.jpg

The Lord High Priest of Sound Cards displaying the offering to the assembled sound card worshipers.
Pic00003.jpg
Pic00003.jpg

The Lord High Sound Card Priest presenting the deceased sound card to the "Natural Elements" before the Sound Card Ritual begins.
Pic00004.jpg
Pic00004.jpg

The Lord High Sound Card Priest mounts the holy of holies sound card alter as the ritual begins.
Pic00005.jpg
Pic00005.jpg

The Lord High Sound Card Priest displays the holy sound card ritual mallet before the destruction ritual and ascension of the sound card spirit takes place.
Pic00006.jpg
Pic00006.jpg

As part of his training, the Assistant Lord High Sound Card Priest assists in the final rights. These final rights of destruction release the soul of the sound card, and frustration on the part of the P.C. owner, so that said soul may ascend to Sound Card Heaven free of its machine made body.
Pic00007.jpg
Pic00007.jpg

This is an image of an incomplete release of the soul of the sound card. Leaving the deceased sound card in this condition could prevent the soul of the sound card from ascending properly. This was cause by the inexperience of the Assistant Lord High Sound Card Priest in such matters and explains why he must be supervised by a Lord High Sound Card Priest.
PIC00008.JPG
PIC00008.JPG

This is an example of what is necessary for total release of the sound card's soul before ascention. Completion of this task was accomplished by the Lord High Sound Card Priest.
Pic00009.jpg
Pic00009.jpg

The Lord High Sound Card Priest's ceremonial mallet. This is one of the few publicly displayed ceremonial mallets in the western hemisphere.
Pic00010.jpg
Pic00010.jpg

Now the sound card's mortal remains (remember the soul has been released) are prepared for removal and disposal.
Pic00011.jpg
Pic00011.jpg

The Assistant High Sound Card Priest carries the mortal remains of the sound card to the place where it will be given its final "Single Digit Salute".
Pic00012.JPG
Pic00012.JPG

I am sorry but the general public may not observe the "Single Digit Sound Card Salute."
Pic00013.jpg
Pic00013.jpg

This the proper final resting place for deceased sound cards. However, county ordinances which total disregard the beliefs of Sound Card Worshipers world wide require that the sound card rests for eternity in a more private place. Gentlemen from a "Sanitary Disposal Organization" took care of this phase of the ceremoney.

Return to main thumbnail page
Home